I was thinking about risk. The risk of losing, the risk of surgery, the risk of racing, the risk of winning, the risk of resting and just risk in general. I am convinced that most people don’t like the thought of risk. For most and for me sometimes risk really means something bad and scary. I am looking at a bit of risk at the moment. It is such a different type of risk that that I have faced in the past. For some reason, it is so easy to forget the rewards of facing risk and only remember the fear. In all the times I have faced my fears and taken the risk, I have learned so much about myself. When I faced the entry form of Ironman, there was tremendous risk involved. When I first put on my sparring gear, there was tremendous risk involved. When I decided to have children, there was tremendous risk involved. When I entered into each relationship there is tremendous risk involved.
I remember the risk; the fear of loss, the fear of failure. I remember the fear of not being able to finish. I remember the fear that I would be hurt. I remember the fear that I would be a horrible mother. I remember the fear of giving my heart and soul and losing them.
Yet, each time I have looked risk square in the face, shaking in my shoes; I have experienced great rewards. I have faced fear of loss and found love, I faced fear of failure and realized some success. I faced fear of motherhood and found a hug from little arms, I faced the fear of commitment and found strength. I faced the fear of the starting gun and found the finish line.
The interesting thing about the relationship of risk and reward is it pays interest. Each time I stood up to risk, the rewards allow me to face more risk, to dream bigger and expect more. Each time the dream is bigger, more is realized of who I am and who I will become. The more I become the more risk I am able to face. And the cycle goes on.
There will always be risks in life. There will always be the question of “what if”? There will always be the chance to play it safe and be conservative. There will always be the opportunity to miss out on meeting myself at the core and realizing that there is an amazing woman there. So for today, I chose risk. I chose to see beyond the speed bumps and dream big. I see that there is more to me than meets the eye. I see that I can step out there, lead with the chin, stand on the edge of reason and take all that comes at me and succeed. In that, I will be prepared for the next chance to stand in the spot and see more of me. Bring it on!